Feel the Grief: Saturn-Neptune Conjunction
Early tomorrow morning Neptune crosses over into Aries after drifting slowly through Pisces since 2011. Saturn will do the same on February 14 after its 2.5 year stay. They will make their big conjunction on February 21.
Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and Aries is the first. Neptune has the quality of disintegration, loss, liminality, overwhelm and can represent our dreams, fantasies, imagination and delusions. Saturn is physical reality, building structures, boundaries, tradition and history, maturation, our perceptions of time, the calcification of our habits and rituals in our bones. I’ve been contemplating it also as the heaviness and contraction of shame.
We are collectively experiencing an ending of one reality and the birth of a new one. The disintegration and disillusionment of dreams and womb-y comforts that are no longer relevant for our new paradigm, and the need to channel our new awakening and anger energy into taking action (Aries). To be able to access the clarity needed for action though, we must also allow ourselves to grieve.
Today is Survival/Invasion Day/Day of Mourning for First Nations people here, a reminder that the jenosides we are witnessing globally are still happening on our doorsteps too. Yesterday in Naarm we sought shelter from smoke from an out-of-control bushfire in Carlisle River. Communities in Minnesota are organising and fighting back against ICE (Pluto in Aquarius). I could go on.
I have been feeling this build up in my personal life too. Neptune and Saturn have been making their way through my 3rd house of communication. When I have nice thoughts about loved ones my comfort habit has been to hold it in and wait until I see or talk to them to tell them, and sometimes by that time I have forgotten, but lately this has been feeling increasingly heavy and uncomfortable in my body and nervous system, and I have been receiving encouragement to be more spontaneously vulnerable.
Yesterday these thoughts of loved ones were swirling and wanting my attention. I thought to text them, but the tension between being emotionally authentic and trying to find the perfect words to type felt overwhelming. I needed to speak them from my body rather than my mind, so I left voice messages which is an edge for me. I felt each one crack open my heart a little. The fourth one broke the dam and the grief gushed out. A part of me felt like I was preparing for death, saying my last goodbyes. My voice messages were received well and it felt so connecting and liberating. I knew this was going to be a new habit of communication for me and I felt a renewed hope for my relationships.
A couple of weeks ago I came across the book ‘Characters of Wisdom: Taoist tales of the acupuncture points’ by Debra Kaatz which I have been a little obsessed with. That night I randomly opened it to a description of two points that have been very supportive through this time and I hope you will find the same.
Spleen 16, Fu Ai, To Caress Our Laments With Compassion, speaks to being cradled, comforted and cared for by the earth in our deep sorrow, and to cradle our own laments, pains and sadness with compassion. When the rain is given the warmth it needs, the clouds pass to let the sunlight through and slowly the healing comes. This point is located 5 finger widths above the belly button and on the edge of the rectus abdominus muscle, in line with the nipple.
Liver 14, Qi Men, Gate Of Expectation And Hope, tends to the hope that we need to get up each day and work for what we dream and believe in. We search for this hope and light even in pain and darkness, and when we find it we share it with others because we need more hope in the world. We are able to see and move into a new place full of greater possibilities, guided and fueled by the hope of one hundred years. This point is in the hollow just above the bottom rib where it curves and just below the nipple.
Start on the left side and hold for at least 3 minutes.
